Of course all of us want a Zombie Apocalypse. But how many of us would actually survive it? I do love me some of that Zombie media (although was it just me or was the acting in Season II of ‘The Walking Dead’ just retarded? I mean did they get Actual zombies to act? – But I digress) and all that is slightly dead, or slightly alive, depending on your philosophy.
I was speaking to a friend who shares my interest, and frankly my hopes, of a Zombie Outbreak. However, what are the odds that we aren’t the heroes of this movie and we get bit immediately, in the laundromat. Or worse, what if we don’t get the opportunity to even try? What if we just inhale the virus or break out in a green rash? How much of an anti-climax would that be? No teeth marks or awesome scratch marks for you, no sir, you got this way because you shared the subway with a guy who cuts the meat at the superstore.
How short would a movie be about that guy?
But I believe I am a realist/borderline optimist [cue inspirational music] and that’s why while I don’t claim that I will be one of the eight remarkably diverse members of the survivors team, I do believe that when shit goes down, I will at least get jumped by no less than 4 zombies while trying to block the shed door, or get unnecessarily shot during crossfire, or yell heroically while pinned under a car because I am simultaneously being consumed (also the yelling is attracting more of them). And the reason I sleep with a baseball bat next to my bed is not because I love the sport, – no! I am just terrible at sports in general – but because I believe and hope that one day we shall have a Zombie outbreak – and that I’ll play a marginal role in it.