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Perfume Formulas, Momentary Dyslexia And Grammar Is Cheap.

Dwelling on some Television stuff, what’s the deal with Perfume advertisements anyway? Cinematography-wise speaking they’re usually the best looking adverts with their sepia hues and their bokeh filters, but I doubt they’re going for a solid message in them. My take on the formula of a fragrance ad:

A heavy film score that produces ambiance. Item 1 – a usually attractive model/celebrity + Item 2 – (one or more) expensive article(s) – a vintage sports car, a mansion, a horse or a boat.

Item 1 hovers around item 2 and then realizes they are being pursued (?) This portion of the film involves physical activity. Running in narrow corridors, sticking to the wall, or appearing to be underwater while on dry land (à la the Oracle from 300). At this point Item 1 probably meets up with their pursuer who turns out to be what they was running towards, and not away from, all along.

Then an extreme close-up of item 1’s face while they fail to keep their awesome hair under control. There is a portion of their partner’s face that it slightly visible. They then pronounce the name of the fragrance in a favorable accent.

Finally the screen blacks out and the name of the brand is spelled, which the consumer is probably glad for because the spelling and the pronunciation do Not complement each other. On the lines of (insert sensual voice) “Passion by Idknorkwt” or “Fear by Bxdevvupl” 

I was in a mall in Dubai one day and saw a store called BCBGMAXAZRIA. When I saw that, I was pretty sure I was having a stroke. Now I’m sure many of you know that brand and my cousin eventually told me it’s pronounced BCBG Max Azria. I think the more unpronounceable the name, the more expensive it gets. Figures, after all I never had any trouble pronouncing Wal-Mart.


About Humble Mumbler

I like video games, painting, and sitcoms that don't have laugh-tracks. Also house-training beetles.

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