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Sly Cows, Cannibal Turtles And Finding Religion In My Breakfast.

I wonder if anyone else watched this advert for Kellogg’s Mini Wheats. It has this Mini Wheat listening to his dad while there is a [human] kid in the background getting ready for breakfast. The dad tells his Mini Wheat child about how he is special and healthy, high in fibre and how he is perfect for kids because he is smaller. All this time the Mini Wheat is getting excited and pumped at how awesome he is if eaten. The Ad ends with the [human] mom smiling and picking up the box while the Mini Wheat and his dad cheer.

I honestly didn’t even try to over analyse that. I literally LOL’d at how subliminally grim that was. Looking past the colors and tunes it’s a dad getting his kid pumped up about being consumed. There is this other advertisement about this turtle shaped chocolate and the catchphrase is delivered by a fancy turtle going “Mmmm, I love turtles.” Really? How does that not whisper cannibalism to some degree. I think ‘Chick-Fil-A’ has nailed the logical aspect to their marketing. They deal solely in chicken products, most popularly burgers, so who do they have as a mascot? Not a chicken, but cows. It’s a variety of billboards featuring cows telling people not to eat their own kind [beef] and have chicken instead. Brilliant.

Then again I guess everybody’s gotta do what they gotta do, and that applies to breakfast cereal and chocolate turtles alike. But for a moment there I thought I saw an Abraham’s Sacrifice analogy in that Mini Wheats commercial.

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About Humble Mumbler

I like video games, painting, and sitcoms that don't have laugh-tracks. Also house-training beetles.

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