Perfume Formulas, Momentary Dyslexia And Grammar Is Cheap.

Dwelling on some Television stuff, what’s the deal with Perfume advertisements anyway? Cinematography-wise speaking they’re usually the best looking adverts with their sepia hues and their bokeh filters, but I doubt they’re going for a solid message in them. My take on the formula of a fragrance ad:

A heavy film score that produces ambiance. Item 1 – a usually attractive model/celebrity + Item 2 – (one or more) expensive article(s) – a vintage sports car, a mansion, a horse or a boat.

Item 1 hovers around item 2 and then realizes they are being pursued (?) This portion of the film involves physical activity. Running in narrow corridors, sticking to the wall, or appearing to be underwater while on dry land (à la the Oracle from 300). At this point Item 1 probably meets up with their pursuer who turns out to be what they was running towards, and not away from, all along.

Then an extreme close-up of item 1’s face while they fail to keep their awesome hair under control. There is a portion of their partner’s face that it slightly visible. They then pronounce the name of the fragrance in a favorable accent.

Finally the screen blacks out and the name of the brand is spelled, which the consumer is probably glad for because the spelling and the pronunciation do Not complement each other. On the lines of (insert sensual voice) “Passion by Idknorkwt” or “Fear by Bxdevvupl” 

I was in a mall in Dubai one day and saw a store called BCBGMAXAZRIA. When I saw that, I was pretty sure I was having a stroke. Now I’m sure many of you know that brand and my cousin eventually told me it’s pronounced BCBG Max Azria. I think the more unpronounceable the name, the more expensive it gets. Figures, after all I never had any trouble pronouncing Wal-Mart.


How I Hate That Lily.

May Contain Minor Spoilers. This list is very specific in how it’s just about one character from the TV sitcom, How I Met Your Mother. Also I Should Confess I Don’t Really Hate Lily, The Title Just Sounded Better Like This.

As a great lover of television comedies, I’ve come to the sad realisation that I really really do not like Lily Aldrin, from ‘How I Met Your Mother’. I like to keep TV shows on Netflix while I’m on the PS3 and I prefer to put one’s that I’ve watched already, (30 Rock, The League, Workaholics, Portlandia, Top Gear UK, Archer, Ugly Americans, Community, The Boondocks etc.) After all my favorites had done their 3rd or 4th complete run-through I decided with ‘HIMYM’ and this time through I just despise Lily. Here goes, my very first rant on how a fictional character is interfering and manipulative…be warned, this is a very selective list, and just reflects a random guy’s opinions. (The random guy in this scenario being me. Subtle clarifications)

1. She leaves Marshall to pursue her art, which is awesome, but she doesn’t even tell Marshall, who is in the dark for over 2 months.

2. One Christmas episode after she returns and all is well, Ted and Lily find an old message from Ted to Marshall where he’s trying to make his buddy feel better and rightfully bags on their ‘mutual enemy’ Lily by calling her a ‘Grinch’. [HIMYM censorship here, I doubt the word is bitch cause they use that all the time]. Lily promptly takes away all the Christmas decorations to her apartment until Ted apologizes. The worst bit is that the decorations are more for Marshall than anyone else and everybody knows that. So it’s like she’s threatening Ted by putting something dear to Marshall on the line. That seems pretty Grinchy. Also why should Ted apologize in the first place. I’d side with my best friend (and I have sided and been sided many times) no matter what.

3. ‘The Front-Porch Theory’: Lily’s theory of when Marshall, Lily, Ted and Ted’s significant other grow old, how they will sit on their front porch and talk of their yesteryear. It is later revealed that Lily has systematically manipulated each and every one of Ted’s girlfriend’s, causing a break-up, including Robin, just because she didn’t approve of them as contenders for ‘The Front-Porch Theory’.

4. She breaks her friendship with Robin, [temporarily] because Robin does not like children and she did not want to be around her even though she was not even close to being pregnant yet.

In conclusion I should agree that there always has to be a balance of characters in any story-telling medium. And then again, she’s pretty hot.